A Not So Happy Ending

In honor of our most recently passed Lover's holiday, this week's edition has to do with a Love Story. Although, this particular tale is one of woe versus a Happily Ever After. I decided to document this story over another because being in the bar business, on Valentine's Day, most couples are off doing Couply things like dinner, movie, or whatever other romantic plan, leaving the stragglers and the Broken Hearted to wander into my bar to drown a bit of their sorrows away. Such is the tale of one gentlemen as he told it to me a few days ago.

Now, this story begins last week when I was working my usual Tuesday shift during Happy Hour, a man walks up by himself and orders a beer. Nothing out of the norm in this situation. This happens a lot during Happy Hour: lonesome man just getting off work, into the Pub for a bit and a few beers before hitting the homestead. Normal. After a few minutes of him sipping his beer and me lolling about, (there usually is not much for me to do customer wise between 5 and 7) the Poor Sap begins to talk to me. He opens with, "You know, this is the first time I have been in a bar in almost a year."
Me: "Orly? Why is that?"
Sap: "Well, it's kinda a long story."
Me: *looks around at mostly empty bar* "I'm sure I have time. Lay it on me."
Sap: "It all started about a year and a half ago. I came to this bar and was having a few drinks after work when I noticed this young lady sitting in the corner over there by herself(points to end of bar by window), shivering a bit. It was kind of chilly outside (this is a patio bar btw) and I consider myself gentleman, so I went over to her and offered her to use my jacket. Nothing strange. I wasn't trying to pick her up or anything, I just couldn't sit there with a girl obviously uncomfortable. She asks me to sit down and we do end up talking for a few hours. And she was really nice. We decided to meet up again later in the week over coffee. She was a really nice girl, it turned out after a few dates, and we ended up dating within a month. Now, she never asked me to pay for anything. In fact, I had to battle with her pretty hard in the beginning to pay the tab anywhere we went  She always wanted to pay half, and me being the nice guy I am, I can't have that. We didn't even sleep together until a few weeks of seeing each other. After several months, she took me to meet her parents in (Boston I think it was?) and they seemed like really nice folks. Everything was going perfectly. We even got engaged. She had a key to my house and was planning to move in with me.
One morning I woke up to get ready for work and couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. She was getting ready to go out of town for some business trip, and acted as if everything was normal, but I just couldn't shake this feeling that something was up. I went to work, and I work long hours sometimes, and came home that evening to find my house cleaned out. She took all of her stuff, and even some of mine too.
I was robbed blind.
She took expensive jewelry that had been passed down from my grandmother  the extra Go-cash I kept hidden in the house, expensive pieces of art that I had collected, even some of my really nice suits. Of course she kept the $10,000 engagement ring I gave to her. She even took some of my more expensive guns.
When I went to check her apartment, thinking at first that I had been robbed randomly, I found out that her address was fake. Not only that, but her phone number was disconnected, and her job was false also. At this point, I am not even sure if the parents I met were real."
(Poor Sap shook his head in disbelief)
"I was totally had. I have never felt so betrayed in my life."

My jaw hit the fucking Floor after he told me this. HOLY MOLY! This is like some movie type shit! You never hear of stuff like this happening in real life!

He proceeded to tell me that after she took him for everything he had, he tried to file police reports and take her to court, but of course she didn't show, so he could not press any real charges because he had no real proof it was her. She was practically living with him after all, so her prints were everywhere. He had no hard evidence to present against her since she had a key to the house. She even stole his truck to cart his shit away in.

FUCK-IN-A man!!! I still cannot believe this! Even as I am writing it down.

He then said that also shortly after the incident, his friends, and her friends as well, came to him with things like, "I didn't want to say anything before, but I just didn't trust her. I should have told you she was bad news..."

REALLY GUYS?!?! You wait until AFTER she robs him blind to come to him with that shit? Great fucking friends you are...
The Poor Sap continued to drink his beer. Of course I bought him another one, because yeah, I felt horribly bad for the guy. And it was Valentines Week, so I am sure he was in an even darker place than usual. The man was so turned off from human beings that he refused to go out socially for almost a year after the event.
I gave him my sympathy, and reassured him that she must have been a professional. It is rare, things like this happening, but it does happen, and from what he told me, the SuperBitch knew exactly what she was doing.

Sit in a bar, look vulnerable, but still appear to have an air of confidence. Get in reeeeaaal good with some super nice guy, really drag out the relationship until he completely trusts you, then take him for all he is worth when he least expects it. Skip town, rinse, repeat.

He even said that he looked her up in police records and found that she had a record in several counties, including Brazoria. She was on probation in a couple too. All for theft.
This was not her first rodeo.

I have seen women at the bar all the time, busting out their boobs and raising their skirts a few inches to get free drinks, but FUCK man! I have never seen this happen before. And in my own bar!

The Sap left after beer three, I told him to keep his chin up, that it could have happened to anybody, and to not knock himself down so bad for it. I thanked him for coming in, and wished him well, and to stay away from single ladies at the bar.

I ALWAYS tell doods to not take a girl seriously you meet in a bar, because YOU MET HER IN A FUCKING BAR! But this? Oh man.... He got fucked twenty ways to Sunday with no Happy Ending waiting for him at the finish line.

So, my advice to anyone, either male or female, about a significant other prospect you may pick up in a bar:
You can take 'em home and fuck 'em, but don't take 'em home to meet your parents.

99% of the time, they are not worth anything more than a good drunk lay.
You want to meet a nice girl?
Go to Barnes and Noble.